Zee
"You're listening to Hatchet Face's Pity Date Radio Hour. Up next, more music to get stood up by..."

gleeb
It's Pirandello's Six Musicals in Search of a Chorus.

GlitterRock
Damn, there are SO many fetishes in this room, I don't know where to start!

AlexGariepy
Well, I just came from a war where my buddy's limb was torn off by machine gun fire, I almost lost a leg, and half of one town I liberated was blown up... what better way to cool down than watching a beauty pageant.

GlitterRock
"Next up is Miss Rhode Island! She enjoys working in her garden, ballroom dancing, bombing abortion clinics, helping with the Jaycees' bakesale, and her idol is Eleanor Roosevelt. Miss Rhode Island!"
::applause::

GlitterRock
"Next up is Miss Florida! She enjoys donating blood to the Red Cross, shopping, golden showers, singing in the church choir, and she fondest wish is for world peace. Miss Florida!"
::applause::

TheDiva
Please, like anyone with that small a chest is going to get into a beauty pageant.

Zee
Great, the library upstairs is leaking.

GlitterRock
"Next up is Miss New York! She likes painting, planting trees, kicking the shins of the blind, volunteering at Goodwill, and she hopes one day to be a wife and mother. Miss New York!"
::applause::

GlitterRock
"Next up is Miss Kansas! She likes long walks in the rain, holding hands with her boyfriend, rough anal sex, the collected works of Joyce Kilmer, and hopes one day to be a nurse. Miss Kansas!"
::applause::

GlitterRock
"Next up is Miss New Mexico! She enjoys reading to the elderly at nursing homes, swimming, snuff films, stamp collecting, and she thinks the U.S. of A is the greatest country in the world. Miss New Mexico!"
::applause::

Indomitus
Is this the officially-sanctioned f**king hot part?

Zee
Something Weird Video presents...

YibbleGuy
They certainly are ... but you misspelled "AMPLE."

tinaw
It's amazing the magic Glitter does to keep screengrabs out of Porch Swings!

TheDiva
They just chose her so they wouldn't have to spend money on a tiara.

TheDiva
What the...June was a cross-dresser!

TheDiva
She thinks the Kama Sutra is "not expansive enough"...