elKapitan
"What's that? The Aztec sun god rejects this sacrifice? DAMN!"

tinaw
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
*digs out eyes with fingers*

GlitterRock
Please always return your Richard Simmons to his upright, locked position.

Dita DuPave
That pose alone could give a straight man a cameltoe.

elKapitan
Just when I think it can't get any worse..................... *cocks shotgun* ...I am the angel of death. The hour of purification is upon us. Begun, The End Times have. The total annihilation of the universe is the one true final solution to end this ungodly pain and suffering that has been wrought upon us...

GlitterRock
"CAPPERS?!?? Uh... um... I was... uh... sleepwalking. That's it. Uhhhhhhhh... sleepsleepsleep."

JMShearer
This would make me horf, too, if I hadn't already wasted it on that one where Simmons was with Wayne.

Cyberbeast
"Zzzzzz...huh, what? Oh, I was having the weirdest dream. Richard Simmons was here and he was...OH MY GOD, NOOOOOOO!"

elKapitan
Fall back, people! It's too late for Ryan, he's a goner! Save yourselves!

GlitterRock
So THAT'S how they did the flying effects on "Greatest American Hero!"

elKapitan
Oh that poor, poor floor...

TheDiva

GlitterRock
Richard's got a hankerin' for some CANADIAN BACON!
And again, I must repeat:

elKapitan
WHY GLITTERROCK, WHY DO YOU TORTURE US SO?????!!!! FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, I WOULD NOT WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY!!!!!

AlexGariepy
*Brady faints*
"Brady! Brady! Speak to me!"
"Pain... too... much... Simmons... killing... sanity..."

JMShearer
I'm trying to ignore the half of the screen with Simmons on it while I try to figure out what's wrong with the downed man, but I just can't!

Diana Luna
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meqal
Well, time to gouge out my eyes.