LauraPowers85
That's a horrible name for a vagina! Shame on all of you! Personally, I think it should be called The Eye of Sauron.
alexgariepy
So we're gonna have the Star Trek women jumping on the trampoline at the end of the show?
GlitterRock
Badly-Spaced Theater presents "The Mant Rap"
GlitterRock
"Oooo, is that salt-flavored cheesecake??"
GlitterRock
"Mmmmm. That face will look perfect, stripped off your skull and curled up at the foot of my bed tomorrow morning....."
gleeb
Oooh, I love a man who eats a lot of cured meats...
alexgariepy
*pouting* She is NOT the Salt Monster! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT!
YibbleGuy
"All the SALT out of your body?! You *dog*! MY girl can only suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ...."
alexgariepy
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's shapeshifting elves.
meqal
After loosing the love of his life, Kirk show the Guardian of Forever where it can kiss him.
GlitterRock
"... humans -- I mean, US regular humans, like me and you ... and me -- we need water to survive. But that doesn't make us 'water vampires,' does it? Hm? Hm?? So maybe-- maybe we should just cut this poor salt-deprived creature a little slack, mmkay? Huh? Whatdoyasay?? Who's with me??"
UpSky2
"Look, it's salt hay! Now we've got it down to a science. When the Salt Vampire sees this, it'll yell 'Hey, salt!' and we'll know where it is."
tinaw
"OH AWWCHIE!"
GlitterRock
"Aww honey. Don't be sad. Wanna go to McDonald's?"
(sob) "No...."
"Wanna go to Toys R Us?"
"No...."
"How 'bout we go home, and I make you a nice salt sandwich?"
(sniff) ".... .... okay."
GlitterRock
"Do you have any piercings?"
"Only one. On my Man Trap."
alexgariepy
So why does the creature prefer the taste of salt on humans? Surely there are salt crops around on this planet?
GlitterRock
Absolutely, Alex. Not to mention there's the All-You-Can-Eat Salt Bar at Denny's for only $1.99 just up the interstate......
gleeb
"Salt vampire? Yeah, right!"
"Why do we even need a 'Sarcasm Officer', sir?"
daupstart
"Man, you guys don't fuckin understand! Blues don't die, Reds always die. But us Yellows, we don't know, man. We just don't fuckin know...."
alexgariepy
That one doesn't look too salty. Nope, not that one. Ick, his salt's tainted... No. No... where can I get good salt to eat?
Coakley
"You grand, salty man!"
GlitterRock
(sniff) "Leonard, what is that HEAVENLY aftershave you're wearing?"
"Why, it's new Old Spice™ Saltmaster for Men....."
GlitterRock
"What the.... 'Morton's Zero-Sodium I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Salt?' What are you, some kind of fuckin' comedian??"
GlitterRock
"This story's called 'The Man Trap????' Fuck this, take me off the duty roster! Call me when we get a story called 'Fluffy Happy Clouds and Sweet Kitties!'"
Coakley
"Spock, what's going on?"
"I believe Dr. McCoy's ex-girlfriend is really a shapesifting salt-vampire."
"O-kaaaay..."
TheDiva
The amount of roofies I'd have to take before I'd sleep with Shatner.
gleeb
As always, Kirk extends the hand of peace and the chicklets of vague threat.
LauraPowers85
"I told you there was something on the wing of the plane! You didn't believe me! Now look what's happened! LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!"
alexgariepy
See what a salt-only diet can do to you?
daupstart
I swear she did *NOT* look like that last night!