GlitterRock
"Um.... 'goo goo?'"
"CUT! Jeff! You're reading the baby's cuecard's again!"

TheDiva
Since this is a soap opera, I'm betting the child is a bastard, a foundling, demon spawn, or all of the above.

AlexGariepy
"I once had a storyline THIS long!"

Indomitus
"You're so devious."
"Of course I am. I'm my evil twin, remember?"

AlexGariepy
"So in order to save the town from my evil cousin who's threatening with a timed electric bomb supplied by the North Korean mafia, I have to use this plane to get to the high mountains, skydive, then use the parachute to land over at the evil headquarters during the cover of darkness, then sneak in, and disarm the bomb while my cousin is asleep, presumably near the computer after jerking off to pics of you on the internet. Did I miss anything?"
"Seducing the only guard with your feminine wiles?"
"I thought that goes without saying."

GlitterRock
"I"m a saaaaaaaaaad once-presumed-dead former spy."

Coakley
The glow of saving the world from a madman with a weather-controlling satellite has worn off.

GlitterRock
She's been in the hospital ever since that run-in with the John O'Hurley Estrogen Brigade.

GlitterBellRock
... because anyone younger than 14 might not be able to handle the RED-HOT SEWING MACHINE ACTION!

cajunmagic
"You don't get to die on me today. No sir. Not on my watch. You don't get to do that to Dr. Rick Bauer!"

Zee
Oh god, is this a Kevin Smith comic?

cajunmagic
Seen here busting a perp, which she will then turn over to her mom, Melina Kanakaredes.

Yukon GARnelius
Perp's Wardrobe
by
Snake's of Springfield

GlitterBellRock
"Damn! I should've known better than to commit a crime in your town, MARINA COOPER!"
"Ha ha ha. Crooks always say that. To me. MARINA COOPER."

cajunmagic
son of Ed Bauer/mimbo

GlitterBellRock
This sketch later won the Daytime Emmy for Best Supporting Actor -- beating the character's actual actor by a wide margin!

Indomitus
...was born with that name. No, really.

Indomitus
's Breasts