GlitterRock
The mystery of the missing other-pillowcase will fuel the series for the next six months!

gleeb
We add yet another typeface!

gleeb
"Is this going to take long? I've got another seduction at 4."

Chrismahanakwanzafreak
"Sh*t for Brains. C'mooooooooooooon! why else would I put on this dress?"

gleeb
We now rejoin Hemingway Jerks Off into a Shoulder Bag, already in progress…

RodRocket
"Moe! Larry! The vicodin! Moe! Larry! The vicodin! Woo-woo-woo-wooo!"

GlitterRock
"You got the wrong guy! I'm Cherokee Jack!!"

GiltterRock
"I'm sorry, Jonah. I'm not really your fiancee. I'm-- (pulls off wig) -- your presumed-dead brother Stefan!"
"NOOOOO-- wait. 'Presumed-dead'? Does it still count as incest?"
"Oh yeah."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

AlexGariepy
Cleavage usually works better when you can see it.

GiltterRock
They were really desperate for ratings to bring in Terri Schiavo for a guest-spot.

(Last boarding-call for Hell. Anyone coming?)

AlexGariepy
"Fer-nan-do is very persistent in his desire for women, power, and fame. Do not taunt Angry Fun Fer-nan-do, for Fer-nan-do will unleash hell upon you, among other nasty yet calculated things."

AlexGariepy
That's a pretty big... bill.

TheDiva
And now, the real motivation behind soap operas.

I was talking about the rich uncle's will in her hands. Christ, you guys are so dirty.

daupstart
"Come. Come here, little mees Emily Rrrose. Ju are not possessed, mi amor. What ju need is simply some good old fashion latin lovin from--" [stomp][stomp stomp][klak] "-- Ernesto! El irresistable.."

GlitterRock
"Ahh. Ze escort from 'Itty Bitty Titty Companions UnlimitEEEEd' has arrived! Welcome to my humble home. Haff ju brought your own condoms, or shall I serve?"

Sidesk
"Are you listening to me? Cause I can make you listen to me! Because I possess the Key to Time... etc"

daupstart
"oKAY! Ju don' wanno dance de cha-cha with a sexy speciman like I, Ernesto?! Then so be it! Ju will be calling Ernesto when you are lonely and jour manos are wandering from here to dere. For I am Ernesto!--" [stomp][stomp stomp][clak] "-- de Irresistable!"

AlexGariepy
"Your sideburns are so beautiful, like a flying dog in the night sky..."