Zee
Corey Feldman is being studied by top men.
"But--"
TOP. MEN.

GlitterBellRock
"I! AM! ALIV-- *BOOM!*

GodoHell
After the porn producers stopped calling, John Holmes started a second career in security.

Zee
...The number of people who have been disappointed by this movie.

cajunmagic
Oh, come on! Now, I've been a good sport with the ephebophile jokes, but putting up a clock ticking away the seconds until Julianna becomes legal is just WRONG!

gleeb
*checks ticket* "5,375,193? Dammit, I'm never going to get my pastrami!"

RodRocket
... and Locke doesn't push the button, all the polar bears explode, Hurley drowns in a vat of Dharma ranch dressing, and everyone magically forgets Michael and Walt ever existed....

RodRocket
"I ate his liver with some strained fava beans and a nice Pedialyte...."

Zee
Baby Geniuses 3: Scared Straight

GlitterBellRock
"Here's your iPod, so you can listen to The Streaks while you gasp for air!"
*guuurgleguuurgleguuurgle*
"Oh, The Strokes. Right."

Zee
"Goonies never say die!"
"Do they say 'Forced anal and oral sex in prison'?"
"....Maybe."

RodRocket
"Could I have some MORE collagen? PLEASE????"

gleeb
And all the better Chinese restaurants are already booked.

GlitterBellRock
"I know why you pulled me over! I'll bet you're a Jew! Fucking Jews... the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world"
"Um, we're going to let you off with a warning this time, Mr. Feldman."
"DAMMIT! ARREST ME! PUT ME IN THE NEWS! LAST WEEK I ATE A STRAY DOG FOR FOOD! I'M SOOOOOOO UNEMPLOYED!"

JMShearer
Oh good, the Daleks got him.

GlitterBellRock
"I will pay big THESE for Bionic Woman tapes!"

jackrouters
"I am a member of the Secret Order of Trogdor. For fourteen centuries, we have kept the secret of the Strongbadia Tire safe. You must ask yourself, for whom do you seek the Tire? For the Cheat's glory, or for yours?"

Zee
God dammit, Satoris had a better cult than this!!