ArchHallJr
"I don't know how any of you feel about colonoscopies but I can't get enough of them. There's no substitute for the rough touch of a man's hand inserting a metal garden hose in your keyster. Rough Trade, VA - hurt me!"

GlitterRock
"Larry's News And Views: Sometimes I want to throw open my windows and yell to the world 'I love Baby Spice!' Rise Of The Machines, New Mexico - tell me the secrets that you keep when you're talking in your sleep."

UnReality
"Larry King had me fixed, the bastard! Dogpatch, Missouri, drop the squeaky toy, you're on the air."

GlitterRock
"Want to spice up your sex life? Take a tip from Larry. Dress like a sheep. Not only is it erotic, but you get all the fun of dressing like a sheep! Interociter, Long Island - Pack up the babies, grab the old ladies!"

GlitterRock
"Cannibalism gets a bad rap, but if you can find me a more convenient way of eating human flesh I'd like to hear it. Deep Space Nine, Pennsylvania, come on in, Borry sent you!"

D-CAT-CHOPRA
It’s not what you look like when you’re doing what you’re doing; it’s what you’re doing when you’re doing what you look like you’re doing. Tom Servo Croatia. Gimme rocket number nine!

WB
Wet your dick first, then put it in the light socket. Not the other way around. Edison New Jersey, hold me, kiss me, thrill me ...

WB
Chuck Norris once lost both legs in an explosion, and still managed to just walk it off. Tall Tales Texas, make me believe in love again.

WB
Chuck Norris once slept with my head under a gun. Downey California, feather my pillow ...

KIPPAGE
"Tonight's Big Question : The Swine Flu Virus and Digital Televisions, are they Related, or just somehow a Bizarre Coincidence that they appeared at the same time ..? Lisa from Barrow Alaska, You're on the line .."

ROBOTCROWT
While we're talking about healthcare so much, any of you out there ever have a Barium enema? Don't write in here and tell me you don't know. Believe me, trust me, you'd remember it.

GersonK
"If you could trade places with Brad Pitt or Paul Volcker, who would you be? K Street don't blow any smoke up Larry's ass. You wouldn't believe the things that are already growing there!"

KIPPAGE
"What does Tina have against Sioux City Iowa and why does She keep Calling Me, Tina, You're on the air .."

GlitterRock
"My fantasy poker game? Me, Mason Reese, Vince Lombardi, John Turturro, and Jennifer Tilly's fantastic winnebagos. Cheesetosser, RI - make me a smile, God if it lasts for an hour, that's all right, we got all night!"

Bigstupid
"How come Larry King keeps putting Tina on the air? He never puts ME on the air!"