TyranosaurisRex
"I'm all that's on TV in this dream, baby!!"

GlitterRock
"They're real, they're spectacular and they keep my knees toasty in the winter. My manboobs. Beebeetown IA, hold me thrill me kiss me kill me."

UnReality
*Larry King hangs up on her*
"Next collar, you're on the airedale!"

GersonK
"Snuggies for dogs? Sweet Jesus in a bathtub full of gin, who's buying these things? Natchez Miss - give me an answer and make it good or the killing rampage finally begins."

Generik
"Weasels ripped my flesh, but I soldiered on. Isn't that always the way? Marie in Murphy, Pee-Ay, I'm not surprised you're a mother, I'm surprised anyone thought you were cute enough to fuck even once. Talk dirty to me."

WB
That's Murray in Murphy, ya dicksop! Here's somethin' dirty for ya, I strangle Larry King and he falls in a mud puddle!

GersonK
"I've been in this grab all night without a bite to eat. How about some popcorn for Professor Larry? Nourish my body and my soul, Jazz!"

UnReality
"I was a robot before robots were cool! Milford, Delaware, 011110010110111101110101011000000111001001100101001
000000110111101101110001000000111010001101000011001
0100100000011000010110100101110010."

ArchHallJr
"I stole Harry Carey's glasses! Right off the fucker's face during his funeral! Steve Bartman on the blower! Where's the goat now, loser?"

Jazzsoda
"I'd like to buy the world a Coke, but the goddamned world's diabetic.
Has ANYONE seen my penis? Fucktwice, Florida, tell me I'm pretty."

ArchHallJr
"What the hell is that mystery meat they're serving up in the CNN commissary? Emeril Fauxgasse, 60th floor - tenderize my sensibilities!"

Jazzsoda
"...but I told them there was nothing illegal about the aliens in my garage.
Children of the World: I fucked your grandma. Marijuana, Maryland: burp into the microphone."

Jazzsoda
"..and that's why negroes shouldn't vote."
*lights flicker*
"I'm naked from the nipples down: how is this possible? Shermer, Illinois: Don't you forget about me."

Jazzsoda
"RAPE: What are the downsides? I've never met a Jew who didn't like ice cream - what does it mean? Naardvark, NC, I have four donuts impaled on my penis right now - fact or fantasy?"

WB
I once got a Dear John letter from Mustang Ranch Nevada. Hoboken Free Clinic, Hoboken New Jersey, give it to me caller ...

WB
H1N1. Takes one to know one. Pig Pen Arkansas ... doesn't have a phone, so they drove over to Spiveys Corners, y'all talk at me now, y'hear?

d_cat_chopra
My neck is killing me! I mean, seriously! Do you think it's easy staying in this position in all these screen grabs? Cuz it ain't! Mouseballs, Washington. Scream it and mean it!

Occupant
"I'm a little ray of sunshine. Just ask my mom! Tango, South Carolina, kiss me in the morning, then just walk away!"