GlitterRock
*they run... fall down a hill... Ron rolls over Harry*
"VAAAAAAAAANCE!"

TheDiva
Hey, can you give me a ride to Cirith Ungol?

JohnSteed
Don't ya' just hate it when you're watching the Northern Lights and giants spiders try to eat you?

TheDiva
"On the plus side, we could always use her to point the way to the common room..."

meqal
Remember Harry, it's only statutory rape if we sit on her finger and spin.

GlitterRock
"The basilisk must've frozen her while she was in the middle of being a little bitch."
"How can you tell?"
"Her mouth's open."
"Point taken."

AlexGariepy
"Could you just... flip the channel on the tele? I can't stand Fox."

JurassicPork
Just as Harry was about to levitate his underwear to the ceiling, his Hermione love doll had sprung a leak.

YibbleGuy
Harry Potter And The Thong Panties Of Mystery

NurseNoir
Lars Ulrich and Trent Reznor's wedding came as a surprise to many, even them.

LauraPowers85
"It says here that they're exothermic and dwell most commonly in Death Valley! Wow! This doesn't help us at all! That Hermione is such a stupid little bitch..."

YibbleGuy
Gangster-tagging by the infamous "Grammatically Correct, Properly Spelled, And Relative Subtle In Our Threats" crew.

TheDiva
"Look, do you KNOW what happens to Dark Arts teachers in this series? I'm gettin' out while the gettin's good!"

Indomitus
Oh, bad idea. One should never corner a British Shakespearean Actor (Overus Actus), because they can get really vicious and rake you with their claws, or spit an overwrought soliloquy at you.

TheDiva
He's trying to destroy the evidence of his involvement in "Wild Wild West."