TheLurker
"Wooooo! Freebird! Freebird!"
JurassicPork
"Diogenes could've found his honest man sooner if he'd used GE bulbs..."
Agent_Moldy
Edgar Winter reminds you that he'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. He'd like to buy the world a Coke, and keep it company.
Or just to find some friggin' skin pigment, that'd be good, too.
GlitterRock
Jimmy Doohan, at Father's Day
JohnSteed
"Awwwww, little Charlie Manson is so cute! Yes he is..."
JurassicPork
For a kid that age, he's a serious AC/DC fan...
TheDiva
Say buddy, got a live rat on ya?
TheDiva
"Life Around A Weirdo's Arm" - Alice Cooper's snake tells all!
GlitterRock
"Got any packages you want me to deliver? Apparently I speak Parcel-mouth....."
PrezGAR
Dear Mr Potter,
You have been pre-approved for an unsecured Platinum Credit Card...
TheDiva
Dear Mr. Potter,
Time is running out on our special 12 CDs for a penny offer...
GlitterRock
He's always getting his mail mixed up with Wes Craven's People Under The Stairs's
Agent_Moldy
Dear Mr. Potter:
You may already be the winner of one million dollars.
JurassicPork
"Dear Son:
How are you doing in Hogwarts Academy? There's nothing much going on here. George Bailey's being a pain in the ass again and I had him committed for trying to slash his wrists and raving about his 'guardian angel, Joseph.' His Uncle Billy is in a nursing home after he'd shoved Polident up his ass and brushed his teeth with Preparation H, so the Savings and Loan is mine at last. I don't know why, son, but it gave me a hollow feeling after I threw Eustes into the gutter.
Anyway, we're all proud of you. Love and kisses,
Dad.
P. S. Bedford Falls will be slightly different when you come back, so don't be too shocked.
D."
Coakley
Dear Mr. Potter,
This is a cease-and-desist order from the J.R.R. Tolkien foundation. Really, that whole "invisibiltiy cloak" was just too much.