GlitterRock
"Gooo.... guh guh... guuhhhh." / "What is she trying to say, honey?" / "I think she's saying that Der Golem f*cked her silly." / *GUH! GOO!! GUH GUH!"
Coakley
"Victor, what happened?" "Doom had the Power Cosmic, but then banged against the field Galactus had put up against the Silver Surfer. Doom has lost the power." "Poor baby. Want some hot cocoa?"
JohnSteed
"Oh God! Victor, you rule my world!" "DOOM'S DUTY IS TO PLEASE THAT BOOTY!"
Coakley
"I'm worried about Victor. He's been so quiet since losing the Power Cosmic." "He just needs some time, honey."
GlitterRock
"... and then I grabbed Der's muddy weiner like this and started jacking-- " / "WHOA! Uh ... running late. Going to work now."
screaming_fist
Next: Debbie Does Doom
Beedo
She's gettin it from a teenage hormone-factory, an animated rock-hard statue, and a dictator. Reminds me of an ex.
Coakley
"Victor, we're glad you are our tenant, but why do you look so much like Der Golem?" "YOU DARE MOCK DOOM?"
GlitterRock
"Victor, Amy's also missing her Backstreet Boys limited-edition string puppets." / "Doom is using arcane magicks to animate them into a killing force. Except A.J., who's in rehab."
GlitterRock
"MoooOOOM! Victor didn't close the front door again!" / "Is that true, Victor?" / "BAH! Doom has servants to close doors for him! And, I repeat, BAH!"
GlitterRock
"And one more thing, Der Golem: if you're entertaining any notions in that mud-filled head of yours of trying sodomy, just remember... my sweet caboose is marked EXIT only."
Coakley
"Victor, I'm off to school! Thanks for helping me with my science project." "Remember, Doom's genius will result in an A, or your teachers shall suffer!" "Cool! Later!"
JohnSteed
"Victor, time for dinner!" "FOOL! DOOM'S on AIM! All Doom's buddies are online!"
Beedo
"Victor, will you say Grace?" "It is by the Grace of Doom that you yet live. Bow before Doom, and Doom shal spare your puny lives!" "Amen."
Coakley
"Gosh, that Der Golem sure does make a nice salad." "Tom, you're not eating the salad." "Your point being?"