GlitterRock
Eager to get kissing Timothy Dalton, Maryam d'Abo tosses a bottle at Roger Moore.

TheDiva
What's Dylan McDermott doing here?

elKapitan
"You were expecting someone else?"

GlitterRock
Just when you thought it was safe to leave Crystal Lake for Elm Street, this summer it's "Jason Vs F--
...
huh? What?
...
Oh. Forget it.

PrezGAR
Just when you thought it was safe to be one of the few aliens Marc Singer liked, this summer, it's 'Jason vs Willie.'

TheDiva
Just when you thought it was safe to be a weird newscaster, this summer it's "Jason vs. Ryan Stiles"!

elKapitan
PAPER REPORTING CHILD KILLER BEING SET FREE SET ON FIRE

TheDiva
CRYSTAL LAKE SLASHER STARTING LIFE OVER WITH FOSTER FAMILY
YET ANOTHER NEW PETITION AGAINST TAX LAW

GlitterRock
Dammit. I *knew* Michael Jackson would never get convicted!

GlitterRock
Treebeard?

TheDiva
Stare at a computer screen eight hours a day, this'll happen.

TheLurker
"I WANT MORE COFFEE!"

GlitterRock
The familiar sight of the agonized faces of those who are trapped with Linnea Quigley for eternity......

elKapitan
Just when you thought it was safe to venture into the Amazon with Jennifer Lopez, this summer it's "Freddy vs. Anaconda."

elKapitan
Just when you thought it was safe to search for a witch, this summer it's "Freddy vs. Jason vs. The Blair Witch Project."