GlitterRock "Remember kids. Reading is FUN!" -- TV's Doctor Who	TheLurker "Hi, The Eighth Doctor here! You know, I thought all the fire had gone out of my sex life, until I picked up a copy of The Lurker Sutra. Yes, my old school chum -- and one of my many former girlfriends -- has written a how-to book of sex positions that used to be known only to the most high-authority Gallifreyians. Now you too can enjoy such exotic positions as: -The Dalek Plunge -The Master Position And my personal favourite: The Time Rotor. So, what are you waiting for? Pick up your copy today! And remember: You don't have to be from Gallifrey to enjoy these; but just be very careful if you're not."	Shockeye "Hi, The Doctor here. I'm here to make sure you're all aware that Canada is a real, honest-to-God country. So there shouldn't be anymore calling it America Jr. But there's nothing wrong with Eh? jokes. The more you know."
GlitterRock You know, I'm starting to think that the £11 I shell out each month to watch K9's nude webcam just isn't worth it......	LongLiveRock You made me a sad widdle Time Lord!	The Secretive Bus Giant bowling ball knocks down Paul McGann-shaped skittle.
TheLurker Position #13 in The Lurker Sutra.	Shockeye Suddenly, John McCain slapped Hillary.	GlitterRock "Mmmmm. Half-eaten space doughnut...." (drool)
LongLiveRock The 4th Doctor's perm came out!	TheLurker Here's what reviewers are saying about The Lurker Sutra: "My husband, David didn't know what to do with a Gallifreyian girl on our wedding night, but thanks to The Lurker Sutra, he made me scream all night long!" - Susan Campbell "The Lurker is a very sexually learned Time Lady. I should know; I'm doing her! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh!" - The Master "Sure, The Lurker Sutra sells millions, while my science book 'Humans Are Nothing But Worthless Lumps of Chemicals' sits on the shelf! But, it does have some interesting positions I can try out on The Master..." - The Rani	MrTim Slowly, the Daleks creep in for the kill . . .
GlitterRock The Animated Adventures Of Jessica Simpson	TheLurker "Hmph! That Lurker bitch's book outsold 'The Romana Sutra', did it? She thinks she's all that just because she's shagging The Master..."	The Secretive Bus Romana pulls the invisible trigger of the invisible gun and mercilessly shoots down the invisible Tom Baker. Possibly.