TheDiva
1.) You're gayer than Richard Simmons.
2.) You enjoy the sound of a large bovine in distress.
3.) You actually BELIEVED that "farewell tour" stuff more than once.

Mattteus
4) You're Helen Keller

gleeb
You're married to James Brolin

meqal
6) You enjoy making your victims suffer before you kill them.

Cyberbeast
7) You're all verklempt!

Mattteus
You're 35 and just discovered Hot Topic.

Shadarus
Oh dear GAWD, he's going for my tits!!! *runs in terror*

TheDiva
He's like an unappealing and unfunny Mike Nelson.

gleeb
So, Joel Hodgson, then?
*ducks, runs, makes it to a hidden bunker, sends up a signal flare to alert his next-of-kin to announce to the press that he was only kidding, and waits, with a foreboding feeling*

Diana Luna
WOWZA! *Quickly turns off computer and runs away*

JMShearer
You'd think by now I'd have learned to give myself more than two hours after eating before coming here, but I just never do.

daupstart
[pewt] [zzzzzzzip]
"WOAH! Sniper! My rodent senses warned me just in time!"

TheDiva
The nice thing about their relationship is that they can share each other's bras.

floydianj
I'm sure Dr. Phil is only going to have nice things to say about this.

Zee
"Is it POOPHAWG A SHIT, Pat?"
"Um.... no."

RodRocket
"He jump on my vagina, Dr. Phil!"

YibbleGuy
"So, Melissa, how long have you been a DISAGREESNITTHHULESSNOTABOUTOPAL?"

Mattteus
blah blah blah Ronald Reagan *audience laughs*
blah blah blah St. Olaf *audience laughs*
blah blah blah I'm sassy and Southern *audience laughs*
*off camera* blah blah blah Old old old! *audience laughs and applauds, end show*