GlitTurkeyRock
I see a vase. A reallllllly ugly vase.
daupstart
o/`... In order to form a more perfect union. / Establish justice and ensure domestic tranquilityyyyy - EEEEEEEE!... o/`
GlitTurkeyRock
"Next act, please. Wyld Stallions, please take the stage."
Zee
Vest from the "Perfect Strangers" collection.
Indomitus
Wake me up when she turns into Elizabeth Shue.
jackrouters
"Mr. Yankovic, your so-called parody humor is derivative and unfunny. Plus, I don't believe you actually own a pet duck."
Gray Zombie
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON
GlitTurkeyRock
"Rather than go to everyone person-by-person, I'm using this bullhorn to apologize to everyone at once! I'm sorry for that single with Gwyneth Paltrow! Really really sorry!"
jackrouters
Sure, no attendants, but you'll never see buck-oh-nine gas ever again.
BlueNothing
I'm pretty sure sperm collection doesn't work like that
YibbleGuy
"Well ... gotta get back to 1985 ... how about one last time for the road, Mom?"
ChaosWolf1982
So... incest is okay, as long as time-travel is involved?
TheDiva
If you really loved me, you'd give me the bloody area code.
GlitTurkeyRock
That's Niki's phone number on "Heroes!"
Oh well. If you have $25.99 a month and a high-speed internet connection, she'll love anyone 
GodoHell
We now return to Christopher Walken as Michael McKean in the role of Scotty J. in "Boogie Nights."
CajunFriedTofurkey
"Ok, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you a noogie. It's gonna be the classiest noogie ever. It's gonna be friggin' yooge! Now get outta here, and don't forget to watch The Apprentice."
gleeb
"Son, I know you're going to that big party out at the lake, and I just want you to think about this: while you're having messy, drunk sex with some underaged girl you met half an hour before, how well is your pocket going to be protected?"
GodoHell
"And remember, son: If she's not virgin stock, and you knock her up, someday you might find out your son came back from the future & stole that cherry right out from under your...nose."