GlitterRock
(stares at blank screens)
"Okay. Lesson one: caves don't have naturally-occurring electricity. Live and learn."

GlitterRock
"Only cunnilingus can save us now!"

TheDiva
Words to live by, Glitter.

GlitterRock
Yes, always take the word of a dangerous vigilante whom the police have yet to admit exists.

GlitterRock
"You could be Platypusman."
"Nononono. I ain't dressin' up like no platypus!"

TheDiva
"Burton used to love me, but then he dumped me for that Depp bastard!"

GlitterRock
Kim Basinger's only hope is that Kid Rock will divorce her in a few months anyway....

Shockeye2005
It's getting harder and harder to find a Chinese place that'll deliver to the Batcave.

WaffleKing
Finally, a book heavy enough to conceal my raging boners.

JohnSteed
I was unaware the Wayne murders were treated with the same kind of publishing fascination of the Kennedy assassination.

Zee
"Look, it's a Newsie! Hi, Newsie, you little piece of shit! Why don't you go deliver a fucking newspaper now, you worthless sack of dog vomit! God, I fucking hate those fucking Newsies!"

GlitterRock
You know... if they'd just subscribed to Netflix, the Waynes would still be alive today.

I'm just sayin'!

jackrouters
*unbuckles*
"AAAAhhhhhh....great dinner, Alfred."

Scarecrows Brain
Exactly what part of the costume is supposed to inspire fear in evildoers? The pointy ears? The cape? The bright yellow on the bat symbol?

Maybe he's not wearing any pants. Yeah, that'll do it.

YibbleGuy
"Welcome to Dicknose-In-A-Box, may I take your order?"

KKDW
So what did Bruce Wayne think...probably something along the lines of "man what do I do with all this money, I know I'll become a villain vanquisher so I can spend it all on gadgets!"

WaffleKing
That's the difference between Bruce Wayne and myself. I'd say "I'll use it to get killer laid!"

TheDiva
And you gotta wonder why nobody at Lockheed-Martin ever stopped to think, "Hey, why does this anonymous benefactor want us to build a large plane shaped like a flying rodent equipped with enough firepower to take down a third-world nation?"