GlitterRock
Meanwhile, at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards: the special awards for programs shown on the Cap-Page Board....
"... and there are Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker. Matthew's nominated tonight for 'Best Actor In A Movie' in 'Election', and Sarah's up for 'Best Supporting Actress In A Movie' in 'Mars Attacks!'"
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards....
Doris Roberts wins for 'Best Acceptance Speech For An Award' for the "TV Land Awards!"
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards.
"It's an honor not only to be nominated for 'Best Actor In A Series' for my appearance in '24,' but also 'Best Actor In A Movie' in 'The Three Musketeers.'"
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards....
Stockard Channing crosses her fingers, and hopes she gets to read her acceptance speech for "Taunting Glitter Is Something I Would Never Do," 'Best Thread In A Movie.'
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards....
Jeri Ryan fumes that she missed out on the 'Best Actress In A Trek Series' award .... but she beat out Charisma Carpenter and Salma Hayek to win the 'Best Knockers Award.'
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards....
"How could Jeri Ryan win?? I mean... did you SEE the size of Charisma's hooters in 'See Jane Date??'"
PrezGAR
o0O{I wonder what Tina's wearing right now?}O0o
Agent_Moldy
.oO{I could be at Tina's right now, but nnnoooo! Stupid bitch wife o'mine had to drag me to this stupid thing.}
GlitterRock
"Um Wayne. Who is this Tina.....?"
tinaw
Bitch! Don't touch my man!! You don't know me! I will CUT YOU! *I'm* all the sistah he needs!!
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards.....
"I just want to thank everyone who voted for me as 'Best Capper-Female Love Interest'. Just remember: behind every great man is a great woman. And behind Tina ... is me! Goodnight and God bless!"
tinaw
". . .I'd also like to thank Mandy for being so incredibly understanding about the sudden abandonment and divorce, and the fact that she's pressed no charges against Tina, despite the threatening letters!"
Cyberbeast
"...and of course, the man upstairs. Mr. Johnson, who has been kind enough not to call the police no matter how much noise Tina and I make."
TheDiva
"...and it's been a great honor to be nominated among so many other great love interests. Hugh, Anthony, Alan, Sean, all giants in this field..."
Wayne will sing his acceptance speech in the style of Stevie Wonder, to the tune of "Isn't She Lovely?"
o/ I'd like to thank you,
This is so great, innnndeed,
I love you Tiiiiinaaaa,
You're all the siiiiis-tah I neeeed... o/
JurassicPork
"...and, don't forget, Miss Williams, the restraining order is still in effect..."
PrezGAR
She's smiling on the outside, planning a hit on Tina on the inside.
o0O{Hmm, a Ninja assassin. Yes. No one would expect that.}O0o
Dita DuPave
GAH! Is that a smiling Barry Manilow in drag in the background?
Cyberbeast
*through gritted teeth* "Somebody help me please, he won't stop singing."
tinaw
.oO Keep smiling . . .never show fear of impending divorce and replacement by that crazy bitch Tina . . .everything's peachy. . .Oo.
TheDiva
.oO(Just keep smiling...if you ignore Tina, she'll eventually go away...ah, who am I kidding.)
Agent_Moldy
.oO{Just keep smiling...the shrieking woman coming at me with the big knife isn't really there...the shrieking woman coming at me with the big knife isn't really there...the shrieking woman...}
JurassicPork
"I'm all the geisha girl you need, baby..."
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Awards.....
Simon, Paula and Randy win the award for 'Best Reality Show'. And Paula also wins for 'Best Kiss-Ass'.
Cyberbeast
The New Mod Squad
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Awards...
Matt Damon wins the 'Best Lemon-Face/Lion-Face' award for "Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back." Accepting on his behalf, his co-star, Jon Stewart.....
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Awards....
"... and in the audience, William H. Macy. Mr. Macy is nominated tonight for 'Best Suicide In A Porch Swing' for his role in 'Boogie Nights.'"
TheDiva
Finally, another actor with talent. I was beginning to think Wayne Brady was the only one there.
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards...
... and now, presenting the award for 'Best Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas Caption' are the stars of 'CSI', William Petersen and Marg Helgenberger!
**applause**
Petersen reads in a deadpan monotone from his notes: "You know, Marg, we appeared on the Board as part of HelenServo's Spotlight. But considering our program, it should have really been called the 'Flashlight.'"
"Heehee! See, Cappers, we're a funny show! Please put us back on!"
RodRocket
"Jermaine! Go long!"
GlitterRock
Meanwhile at the 2003 Cap-Page Board Awards....
".... and our final nominee in the 'Best Thread Of 2003' category: 'Everyone Hates Me Because I Dangled My Baby Over A Balcony!'"
*applause*